Shock The Newbie!

I. 

I was making my daily rounds down to the water cooler at work the other day when one of my co-workers cornered me and said 

"Pat, you're a "computer-guy", I need some advice…" 

He shot me a confidence-affirming smirk. 

"Damn… I hate sales people…" I thought to myself 

I flashed my co-worker a knowing smile, after all, he was a noob. He was practically helpless when it came to matters of technology. 

"Yeah, something like that…" 

My fellow co-worker, Carl smiled and replied: 

"Good! I need your help…" 

Carl went on to explain his problem. Christmas was coming and he had decided to purchase a new monitor for his wife's PC. When he hinted that my computer savviness was well known around the office, my meekness was confirmed. 

I agreed to accompany Carl to a local big-box electronics retailer. 

"This should make an interesting blog post!" I excitedly thought to myself as Carl and I parted ways in the lunchroom. 

II. 

Perilous are the waters when treading the vast sea of tech with the computer illiterate. 

I am reminded of the dangers that Odysseus faced, not because Odysseus wasn't favored by the gods and not because the big O lacked any sort of cleverness, but simply for the inexperience of his fellow Greeks. 

There were several questions that I had for Carl. I wasn't sure if he had any answers. I know that Carl isn't a technical guy, but I really needed to know what kinds of video connections his wife's computer was equipped with. 

"Does your old monitor have one of those small blue plugs that you plug into the back of your computer tower?" I sheepishly inquired. 

"Yeah, I think so…" He replied; the confusion on his face was evident. 

He didn't have a f*$@king clue what I was asking him! 

I asked him a few pointed questions: 

How old was his computer? 

Who was the manufacturer? 

What sort of monitor was he currently using? 

("Does it look like one of those televisions we grew up watching?" I asked, satisfied by my seemingly superior wit.) 

I was eventually able to winnow my way to an answer as we wandered the vast, chamber-like structure of the electronics store. His wife's terminal monitor was an old CRT type beast and yes, it used a standard analog d-sub connector. 

Presently we found our way to the part of the store that housed the monitors. Literally dozens of displays sat arrayed in rows, glowing silently and dutifully. I pointed out a few models, made a few suggestions and explained the difference between the different models and connectors. 

Carl's biggest concern was future viability. He decided on a Samsung that had two HDMI ports and one D-Sub connector. I thought it a wise choice and openly mused about Samsung's quality. The matter was settled quickly. In fact I was surprised at how quickly he made his decision once he was armed with a modicum of knowledge.

III.

"With great power comes great responsibility..."

Believe it or not this quote brings me to the conclusion of my post. 

There is really only one way to approach the Carls' of the world. Keep your advice simple, concise and to the point and keep your interactions short. Demonstrate your knowledge, sow the seeds of that knowledge and then let them find their "wille zur macht"!

By overloading the "Newbies" in your life with too much data, you can potentially sabotage the softer bit of the brain that is in charge of making decisions. Always keep the less-is-more mindset and let the people in your life claim their inner-geek!

When you're that guy that people identify as being computer literate, they will flock to you with their questions faster than ghostly baseball players to a field of dreams! The goal of any geek should be to empower the computer-illiterate in their life. 

This advice serves two purposes:

#1: People who own a sense of power rely less on others and more on themselves. 

#2: People who feel empowered usually feel knowledgeable. 

This knowledge will keep the non-geek from pestering you in the future! This knowledge will also keep your superior knowledge in demand. Hell, it could even earn you a free lunch or a "date" with a hot chick -- in the form of going over to her place to have a look at her PC.

Hope this advice helps someone out there...

You can thank me later!